42nd...43rd? Day

I'm not really sure which it is at this point. We'll say 43, as I think I miscounted when I said the 14th was day 33.

I've been on "vacation" from work this week and the kid is on spring break,as they chose to keep the scheduled break in our district (which I think is good. Teachers, parents, and kids no doubt need the break of not trying to run things right now). The week has gone by way too fast, and I'm not looking forward to going back to working from home next week.

School is officially not going back to in person this year, so there's that. Which means until mid-June, the kid is doing remote learning. Which means until mid-June, someone will be working from home, even if things try to reopen (though at this point, I wonder if it will).

Kid loves remote learning and the greater flexibility. I wish that husband and I didn't both have to work, because I think if I could stay home and focus on helping them learn, it would be more enriching to them than public school, and we'd find some way to keep them connected with kids/friends. However, with both of us working, I just don't have the time or energy usually. I am barely mustering the energy to push them through their work (and maybe a bit of added enrichment) while I'm trying to get my work done.

We've been meeting with friends via Zoom and Facebook chats, and I got to see some friends that I haven't seen visually in years (aside from whatever Facebook pics they share.

I've spent this week starting to work through my video game backlog, playing the shortest games first. I literally have an Excel spreadsheet going to track my game completion. Because I'm a dork.

Hoping it'll be nice enough to sit outside for a bit today. After I get the sheets in the wash, because having a heavy period really sucks sometimes. (most of the time.)

33 days

Cranky, teary, and exhausted today. Snapped at the kid more than probably warranted, even given their attitude today. 

Dealt with no internet for half the day, got work done by USB tethering. 

Learned husband's "cloths left in shower" limit seems to be 4. They were cleaned up the other day and now two new ones are in there. I pick up mine and make kid pick up theirs, but I'm so done picking his up after asking him to. The basket is right there, and I run them through the sanitizer cycle so sitting in the towels a bit damp for a day is better than repeated soaking in shower. 

I need my vacation, even if I'll still be stuck at home. 

A month in

It's day 31 and today was Easter. There was a modest basket for the kid and the usual egg hunt. We had a ham dinner, though I'm sad I didn't get my usual boiled dinner with my parents. Husband tried to get a turnip, but what came home was definitely more radish-y and not at all like the boiled dinner turnip.

If I lose my mind during this, it's going to be the little things. Not getting sufficient quiet time to myself (at least when I work I get my commute and some office hours of quiet). It'll be the fact that I asked my husband to wring out the cloths he uses and put them in the dirty laundry instead of leaving them in the tub (I've stopped picking his up and there's currently 3 in the tub...). Or the fact that since all this started, my husband hasn't done any laundry and has done dishes maybe twice...and even when the dishwasher is ready for dirty dishes, I find dirty dishes get piled on the sink anyway. 

Husband cooks most nights and does the once a week shopping, but lunches are always I get me and kid squared. Often I'll try to include his food if he's hungry and I can toss it with ours.  But lunch is never offered to me, and he gets kid's lunch only of I tell him I can't at the moment due to a work thing.

And for grocery shopping, he'll often come back with sweets for himself, and also got the kid's Easter stuff, but if I don't specifically ask for something, I don't get it. 

Just feeling stressed, overworked, and underappreciated,  I guess.

25 Days

I'm tired. Emotions are high. Husband just got really upset with me because we were talking about toilet paper and bidets and how we want a bidet, and where to plug it in. Our only bathroom outlet is behind the water taps for the sink, so I suggested when we can get an electrician in, maybe they could move or put an outlet in a space that is closer to the toilet so the bidet plug wouldn't need to hang over the sink. He said there was probably some way to run it down behind, and I was trying to understand what he meant and asked for clarification and he just kind of went off on me saying I don't let things go. I wasn't even in an argumentative mood and literally just wanted to know what he meant. He was in tears over it because the conversation frustrated him. I apparently sighed when we hugged, and so he snapped for me to not sigh at him and how I always sigh at him and never talk about my feelings.

The last part is a bit true, mostly because the last time I had really big feelings that I did discuss he got to the point of saying I was just talking in circles and saying the same things over and over again. Which is literally what I do when I am talking about feelings. So I guess I've stopped. For years. Because I just talk in circles and don't let things go.

And somehow, since we've all been home, I'm the only one who does all of the laundry, including changing the sheets. Husband has been doing the usual dinner cooking and has gotten up to change kiddo's sheets in the night when it's been needed, but I feel like the rest of the cleaning has defaulted to me, seeing as the only time the floor has been swept, the table washed, and the bed sheets on our bed changed, the laundry done, or the dishes done, are when I've been arsed to do them. On days that I've been too tired to run laundry, none's gotten done, even when there's been a full basket. And there's never been a day I don't do the dishes at least once, if not twice, because once they get piled on the sink they bother me faster than they bother anyone else.

I even offered to do the no-sew quick face mask for husband for him to go to the grocery store, and was basically told if I'm going to do it sew a proper one, but I don't even have any cloth, and why not just use a quick version for the store when you're leaving in like 5 minutes and I know how to do it?

So, today's a pretty crappy morning, and I feel crappy, and it's Sunday and I don't want to work tomorrow, or this week, and I need a vacation and I need to just be alone for a bit.

Morning of Day 23

Wow, it's been a week since I last blogged. It's been fast and slow all at once.

Work is still insane. I've been working more hours than I should; not many more, but I have had a few 9 hour days, at least 2 this week. Mostly, I've been able to keep from working over hours because my husband gets on me about it.

I've been trying to make sure I get out most days for at least a short, socially distanced walk. I try to get kiddo out as well, but yesterday was rainy, and today looks rainier.

Patience has been on the thin side. "Homeschool" has been a bit willy nilly and more flexible.The kid's school has now started doing at least a few things online, so I'm at least making sure they check into the google classroom each day, and then do a few things. Thank goodness for Khan Academy and Crash Courses on YouTube.

Math yesterday wasn't great. Kid was frustrated, and there was some yelling because I was trying to get some time urgent stuff done, but we got through it, and in the end, the kiddo understood it well enough to be able to get 100% on the Khan unit test.

I'm so tired of laundry this week. It doesn't help that about 4 times this week, kid has wet the bed. Husband is usually the one that changes the sheets at night, since it either happens when he's still awake, or he's a lighter sleeper and wakes up faster when kid comes into the room to wake us. It's not out of the ordinary, and growing out of it late has run in the family. I've seen that that can be hereditary to grow out of it late so...I guess we just deal with it for now. It's a bummer though because it does make things like arranging for sleepovers, or (like we want to do tonight) camping out on the air mattress, a bit more touch-and-go. Kid has had a few sleepovers with no issues, so I'm not sure if it's just that they sleep lighter with company/elsewhere or if it's been pure luck that those haven't been accident nights.

Things around here are closed until at least May 4th. That's still a whole month to go.

I have vacation in a few weeks; hoping that I can still take it, because I'm really going to need a break from working at home.